thots.

for being a girl that doesn't have a lot of emotions (i literally can't remember the last time i cried), i'm "feeling" quite a bit recently and i don't like it. i'm really, really good at sailing through life. not thinking or dealing with feelings because i can't trust thots (or thoughts for those of you who don't listen to wash [aka ghetto trash]) when i am feeling. so typically, i just don't.

God has made it very clear over the last six months that His will for my life includes going on the world race south america expedition. but being the princess that i am [aka stubborn], i have not made it very easy for Him. i took my precious time filling out my application [even though i knew He wanted me to go]. and then i still had doubt after i was accepted. He put so many people in my life to confirm my decision and i was still unsure. when i finally gave in and announced it to my social media followers, i had complete peace for the first time in years. it only took a few seconds to be reminded of everything i had to do to prepare for my trip, as well as the amount of money i had to raise. panic set in, so logically i decided to make a list. and this list turned into a fourteen page document, including my packing list, fundraising ideas, embassy numbers and addresses and medications and vaccinations and anything else you could think of. it's in there [just ask my squadmates]. ;) i failed to remind myself that this is God's plan. i forgot to take my chill pill.

fast forward to april 18th, the day i found out i was fully funded. i felt like i won the lottery. and when i realized that i really am leaving july 29th, my clear thoughts became a jumbled up bag of gluten-free noodles. it finally hit me because it became reality. i think a part of me was holding back at the possibility that i wouldn't raise enough and then i wouldn't be able to go. i am ashamed to say but i have doubted God's ability over and over in this process. i put Him in a box. one that was very small and had little potential for success. i don't like failure, so i usually have low expectations, therefore, no disappointment. 

i always said out loud that He would provide, but i'm not entirely sure i believed it. the large number, $17,561, got to me. forgetting who God is, the numbers behind the dollar sign made me think that it was impossible to raise that much money. i doubted God and i never want to do that again. my stomach drops every time i think about the lack of trust i had in Him. but thank goodness He doesn't give up on His [disobedient] children because He has been so faithful and has proved me wrong every step of the way. He provided me the finances in less than four months and brought together a community of believers that i have desperately needed this past year. He is a good, good Father.

so currently, i am trying to prepare myself for my departure, which isn't going too hot. it wasn't until realizing i won't be able to lead my soon-to-be high school senior girls next year when my heart broke. then i realized i won't see my [homeless] people at the warming shelter every week. i will be missing several of my friend's weddings. i won't wake up every morning to two happy yorkies that give me my daily dose of puppy kisses. i also won't be able to celebrate birthdays and holidays with family and friends. and i'll be missing those beautiful below freezing months of sodak [just kidding, i won't miss those at all]. :) 

there are a lot of events that i am giving up but it wasn't until just recently that i have begun to feel [insert all of the emotions] about what i will be missing. i've never really been a fan of good-byes or missing events of people that i love so i don't like to actually think about the idea of leaving since that makes me feel. i try and just do it - without thought because if i do, it leads to thot. so to be honest, i am confused about what i'm supposed to think/feel and how i need to finish this season well so i can begin the next in a few months. all i know is that when i am weak, God gives me strength and clarity. something that i desperately need. so i am giving Him my trust and allowing Him to work in me so that i will be prepared for this next season and be able to bring Him glory. though i can't trust my thots, i can always trust His thoughts.

cheers to vulnerability and honesty.
SJ

i am done rushing.

one of the most stressful things about living in america is everyone always being in a rush. amiright? if we aren't being proactive and figuring out our lives three years in advance, we're basically a societal failure. totally not true but you get my point. going a hundred miles a minute and always trying to act like we have it all together. ie. social media...  we make people think we are actually cool, but don't be fooled. it's a complete illusion. ok fine, it is for me at least (except i really do have cute dogs).

so, i am done rushing.

after i was accepted to the world race (and put down my deposit) for the first time in a very, very long time, i felt at complete peace. it has been a pretty rocky road this past year and i am glad it is over. after being unhappy with how things turned out, it has been a huge blessing seeing God provide in all aspects of my life. He has shown me how last year was needed for me to grow, be stretched, and to open my eyes to new opportunities - the world race.

i have less than five months left before i leave for the world race and the amount of things i need to do before then stresses me out, which leads to way too many panic attacks. there have been several moments this semester that i felt like i was at my wits end, leaning towards a major meltdown trying to get everything done in a timely manner and scheduling life up until i launch in august. and every single time, God shows up in His perfect timing. He has always been there and always will be. He give me rest and takes care of me. He is a good, good father.

and for fundraising, if someone would have told me a year ago i was going to have to raise $17,561 i would've told them they were crazy. even though i still get freaked out by that large number sometimes, the Lord has certainly hit my expectations out of the park. i am currently 58% funded! so, thank you to everyone who has supported me. i am so humbled by your generosity and willingness to help send me over to preach the good news. for those of you who would still like to donate, visit sarahcork.theworldrace.org. and for those of you who want to help support me by purchasing a t-shirt, click here (the order form closes on march 2nd). depending on demand, i may do another order form in this summer.

half the time, i don't believe i am actually going to be a missionary for eleventh months in a foreign land. side note, i'm fully aware i still don't know spanish. and honest hour, i have been listening to spanish for dummies whenever i am in the car. no shame. if all else fails and i don't get back my little conversational spanish i used to know, i'll just throw down a whole bunch of spanish vocab. 

after officially signing up for the world race, i began asking hannah (world race alum) the best way to prepare for training camp and my august departure. she said four words that became my new life motto - "finish this season well."

those words really stuck because i am known for always looking ahead. it's like my job. to always be worrying about the next step. trying to be ten steps ahead and never present. that's what is natural and honestly, what i'm good at. well... what i think i'm good at. i have recently learned that it makes it hard for me to enjoy the present, which is why i am done rushing.

i want to embrace the present. to make it a point to encourage, challenge, and pray for people. to be extremely intentional and be present in all aspects of my life. i want to enjoy the time i have left here in sodak. the ability to take classes (even when i despise them half... most of the time), to drink coffee and eat apples with peanut butter as much as i can, and to serve at church and the local homeless shelter - the warming shelter.

i recently ran across a blog that said, "when we look in Jesus' eyes, we find the one who fully knows us, and fully loves us." it's encouraging that Jesus sees us for who we are and knows us so well. He knows me and knows exactly how i need to change. so, my prayer for this season, as well as for the rest of my days, is to see the beauty in God's people and the joy in the little things. it is definitely not going to be easy some days, but it will be so worth it.

you can't change your past, but you can change your future. 

live, love, & lead <3

do what you won't regret

i have always wanted to graduate college, go to dental school and get married. it has been my dream. my life goal. my timeline. as i have come to realize, my timeline is not working out too hot for me.

it has been an extremely challenging two years, as i have realized that i am not in control of my life. everything i wanted to happen, didn't and everything i didn't want to happen, seemed to find its way in my life.

overall, i haven't been truly happy and it's 100% my fault. i can't blame God for not giving me exactly what i want because i am selfish. it's not what is best for me. so, here i am... humbling myself, which it is way harder than it should be and way more rewarding than expected. His perfect timing is impeccable and He sends encouragement in the weirdest ways.

i have been tossing around the idea of doing a year-long mission trip while i wait for dental school or whatever else i decide to do. it has been on the back of my mind for quite some time, but it has been creeping in my heart more recently. i have been reminded how short life is. and i began to think. why am i sitting around wasting it? and what am i going to do with my precious time while on earth? i wanted to do something meaningful and adventurous. i began researching different year-long trips, but didn't find anything that stuck out. my dad threw out the idea of the world race (wr) by adventures in missions (aim). as i researched more, the more i liked it.

i ended up applying in august and met with my new favorite person, hannah schwab, an wr alum, in east des moines for dinner. even though i only spent an evening with her, i really saw the Lord working in me as she shared her heart. after that night, i was in.

though i do love adventure, it's so much more than that. i will be surrounded by thirty-ish people who have the same passion as me and are also willing to give up eleven months to serve the Lord. it's about community. it's about lifelong friendships. it's about God. it's about the kingdom. 

what is the world race? it is an eleventh month mission trip in thirteen countries through adventures in missions (aim). i will be living out of a backpack. each country will be different in regards to sleeping arrangements. sometimes it will be in tents, some places will be in host homes, and others in hostels.

why am i doing this? i want to see a change. i want to be the change. God enables believers to shine a light in the darkness. after a few come to Jesus moments, i was reminded that my life is not about me. becoming a dentist or whatever the Lord wants me to be can wait another year. people needing Jesus can't. 

who am i going with? i am not sure! my team, which is called a squad, will consist of about thirty men and women throughout north america. the first time we will meet will be during training camp this summer.

which countries will i be going to? all of south america. this includes: colombia, venezuela, guyana, suriname, french guiana, brazil, ecuador, peru, bolivia, chile, argentina, paraguay, & uruguay.

the map below shows the route that i will be taking. *subject to change

what will i be doing? the short answer is i am not sure. there are specific contacts in each country. we will help them in whatever they need. flexibility is key and expectations will be set when we arrive in each country. to give you an idea of what we could be doing. the world racers that travel to haiti stay at mission of hope and work alongside them for the month. in the past, a squad did construction at a camp. walked around the city and prayed for the people. and so many other endless opportunities.

even though i have several months before i leave. there is a lot to do before i can go. it is difficult planning eleven months of your life in a backpack. figuring out medications and the things that are "basic necessities" in america, like clean water, toiletries, laundry, or a shower, are not going to be in abundant access. also, this route is a little more extreme than the past wr routes so communicating back to america might not happen as frequently as i (and my family) would like. we will be pioneering the entire amazon river by boat. ministering to the remote, yet beautiful patagonia. and so much more. there will also be time to do a little exploring of God's creation. i will have the opportunity to hike machu picchu, see the salt flats in bolivia, go to the southernmost city in the world, along with exploring iguazu falls in brazil.

when do i start? training camp is june 8-18, 2016 in georgia. i will be departing august 2016.

how can you help? lots and lots of prayer. pray that i am mentally and emotionally prepared to spend eleven months in unknown territory. pray that i mesh well with my team and we will be able to love on people from all different backgrounds and cultures. pray that i have a heart for the people i interact with and that they will be able to see Jesus through me. pray also for the language barrier that we will be able to learn spanish (for the most part) and communicate well with the people that we meet. i also need financial support. i need to raise $17,361. yes. that is a large number. i am completely aware. it includes transportation, shelter (hostels, host homes, etc.), and food. your money will give people in south america a chance to experience God's love. there may be some remote places that we travel to that have never heard of Jesus and what He has done for them. i will be sending out support letters in the next few weeks. trust me, it is the last thing i want to do is ask for money, but i have come to terms that it is part of the process. it will help enable me to go spread the gospel and it will give you a chance to participate by supporting me.

if you would like more information about my trip, visit world race expedition or you can email me at sarah.j.cork@gmail.com. i would love to talk to you more about it! you can follow me throughout the next year on my wr blog - sarahcork.theworldrace.org. there is a link that allows you to donate to my race on this blog.

i know i am only twenty-two but life is so short. i don't want to regret my twenties. i don't want to regret running from unpredictable events. i don't want to regret not doing something because it would be inconvenient. while i am young and able, i don't want to miss an opportunity to serve the kingdom.  i am excited to see what the Lord has in store and ecstatic to be amazed at how it all plays out - on His timeline.

life is a journey. make it an adventure.

live, love and lead <3

Adventures In Missions is a tax-exempt organization under IRS code 501(c)(3) and is a member of the ECFA. (Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability). Due to IRS and ECFA regulations governing the administration of tax deductible donations given in support of a particular trip/program, support contributions given on behalf of an individual will be used to offset the costs of the trip/program you are involved in. All contributions are non-refundable regardless of the participant’s success in completing the program.

all you need is a pilot, instructor, and jumper

every day is a new adventure. there are two things i have learned to master during this time in my life: change and flexibility. i try to handle it with grace, but let's be real, that doesn't happen very often. after all, life is a little chaotic.

in may, i graduated from baylor. moved home and became an only child for the first time. i quickly learned that the only child thing doesn't really work for me and wished my little brother was home. i wrecked my car within the first week (i know i said this in my last post but people really do need to learn how to drive - fast and furious) and living twenty minutes from civilization does not work well with a girl who loves her independence. ok, that's a little bit of an exaggeration. i'm more like fifteen minutes from any coffee shop. i know, i have my priorities straight. with the few friends that haven't moved away, 99.9% are only here for the summer. i have spent my entire summer studying for the dental admission test, which i take july 22nd. the next day after my test, i will be helping lead a group of middle and high schoolers in the rocky mountain national park for six days. i was promised tents, beautiful views, and some not so pleasant smells. did i mention elevation is not my friend? don't worry, i'm bringing some medication and a lot of febreeze. in august, i'll be starting morningside college and taking classes i avoided like the plague during my undergrad - microbiology, biochemistry, anatomy, and human physiology. gross, i know. i also have to relearn how to survive the winters up here. lol. last winter i learned that mallory, my car, likes to pretend she is a sled so i am sure we will have a lot of #adventureswithmal coming at ya live on snapchat. feel free to add me - sarah_cork (i keep it original). in conclusion, i've had change, change, and more change.

my parents and i went to visit my little brother in california this week. he is interning at ebay for the summer in san jose. sic'(em). it's been three years since i've been to this beautiful state. and it never disappoints. 

sometimes there are times when you just need to do something fun - or crazy. like yesterday. i had a twenty-two-year-old young-life crisis. i jumped out of a plane at ten thousand feet. crazy, but totally worth it. 

it was the first time in quite a while that i felt like i had no control over a situation. i just listened to eric miller, my tandem instructor, and let him figure everything out while i sat back and relaxed... or screamed. i'm kind of surprised i still had my voice today. when he told me to do something, i listened. why? because i was not about to die. and because he was an expert (he has jumped over five thousand jumps) and knew exactly what he was doing. 

honest hour: i like being in control. i also like knowing what's going on. i love taking charge and figuring out the most practical way to do something. i'm still not positive what made me have the desire to skydive, but it was a freeing feeling leaping from a sketchy little airplane and not being in control. the minute long free fall accelerating at 9.8 m/s^2 looking over the ocean was indescribable. 

this whole change thing definitely relates to my walk with the Lord. i need to step back and allow God to be my skydiving instructor. He's been there before. this thing called life is definitely not new territory and He'll direct me where He wants me to go. He gives me the parachute strings to steer, but ultimately He will make sure i make it to the landing pad. in the meantime, i need to learn a little patience.

life is a little blurry. kinda messy. but i'm learning that i wouldn't want to be in any other place right now. if i can trust eric with my life jumping from ten thousand feet, i can definitely trust the instructor/creator of all things. all i can say is that i am very thankful that God is trustworthy, even throughout all this change. in His time and in His plan, i will figure out the next step. until then, i may as well sit back, enjoy the ride and live life a little.

side note: if you ever have the chance to skydive, i would highly recommend it. my only suggestion would be to do it somewhere with a nice view. :) totally worth it. my little brother and i went to a place in santa cruz, california. their website is http://www.santacruz-skydiving.com.

live, love & lead <3

the three l's

everything starts with a beginning. 

we choose, as humans, to make the best out of every situation - or not. the decisions i make today will affect me. maybe tomorrow or maybe a few months from now. my attitude affects the outcome of my day. it also plays a vital role in the decisions i make. 

my guilty pleasure is HGTV. the property brothers are my jam. i love seeing what it used to look like and what it turned into with a little creativity and hard work. i like to think of God as our builder. He created the world and individually crafted each one of us. in general, i am a big fan of uniqueness. nothing grinds my gears more (well besides people driving under the speed limit) than pinterest lovers. why? because people who are not creative all the sudden can copy & paste to make an "original" art piece. they somehow get labeled as creative and "superrrr artsy" (lol just kidding, don't ever say that). don't get me wrong, there have been a handful of times where i cheated and looked up a few ideas. it kind of hurt my heart a little because pinterest is #basic. what actually happens is that creativity is lost. ok, it's really not that bad. but i am thankful that God does not use pinterest. God is the founder of creativity. the definition of original. He keeps it fresh (yes, i just said that). i admire Him and want to be like Him. to use the tools that He gave me to be who He created me to be. He is my inspiration and i get to be the artist of my own life. 

before i explain the three l's, you should know that my relationship with God is something that i can not explain in words, because it is my own and english is hard. there was a defining moment in my life when i realized that i was broken and that no human power or earthly object was able to change me. leaving my sinful life behind and only looking toward God, who seriously paid the ultimate sacrifice for me, got me reevaluating my life real fast. God asks for obedience, which is exactly what i plan to give Him. 

the three l's are three short, powerful words. the following definitions can be found at www.dictionary.com.
live [liv] verb, to have life; be alive; be capable of vital functions
love [luhv] noun, a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
lead [leed] verb, to go before or with to show the way; to conduct by holding and guiding 

www.sarahsdictionary.com definitions.

to live: to be free, able to enjoy the life God has given
if you know me at all, adventure is my middle name. it's actually not, it's jean, but go with me on this. if someone wants to do something extremely rash or something your mother would probably strangle you if she knew beforehand, my number is... (just teasing, mom). but really, i am game. i love traveling (anywhere and everywhere), camping, extreme caving, atving in the jungle, kayaking, paddle boarding, parasailing, wake surfing, you name it - i am in. seeing the world from God's perspective is something i am learning. experiencing new things/exploring the land God created is life, to me. 

to love: to show Christ through one's actions
love is a familiar word, yet i am not sure if i understand it completely. there are so many different kinds of love. i love God. i love my family. i love my spoiled (is an understatement) yorkies and turtle. i love coffee. it is a beautiful thing at 6:00 a.m. when i am about to study. i love technology when it doesn't turn ghetto on me. i love exercising. i love my friends. i love my church. i will admit my love for coffee is probably a little excessive but i really do think it can complement anything i do at any hour of the day. rain or shine, coffee is always there for me (kinda kidding). all of those things i truly do love, but not on the same scale. www.sarahsdictionary.com (sorry, i think i'm funny) defines love as demonstrating Christ through everything that one does. this includes actively seeking out relationships with friends and strangers. striving to be like Christ. being patient and encouraging. always gracious and never salty. way easier said than done. it means not judging others for the choices that they make because you got your issues too. helping the people around you with a happy heart. being proactive about calling, texting, meeting up, or sending a note via pigeon carrier to someone you know that needs a friend. all done with compassion and a servants' heart. that is when, i believe, love is used correctly.

lead

to lead: guide and walk side-by-side with other followers of Christ
since God is our shepherd and we are the dumb sheep (kidding, but not at all), we have a great example to follow. fun fact - when sheep would wander off, the shepherd would leave all his other sheep to find the lost one. once the sheep was found, the shepherd would break its legs so it would a) learn a lesson and b) not leave His side. that is exactly what God does to us. He carefully watches over all His sheep and when we do something wrong, He directs us toward righteousness. if we are still being dumb, He may "break" our legs til we figure out what His will is for our lives. thankfully He seeks us out when we are wandering. as a follower of Christ, it is important to lead. to encourage and walk alongside other believers. it takes a lot of patience to be a good leader. it takes a lot of love, as well as a whole latte (lotta - get it? i made a coffee joke) prayer. Blended all together, it makes the perfect recipe to shape you into the person God wants you to become.

the three l's is the beginning of my journey into becoming an actual adult. i have absolutely no idea what that means or where i will end up. but, i am trusting on the Lord to lead me in the right direction so i can live a full life, which is only through His love, mercy and grace. 

just as everything starts with a beginning, there is always a period to the end.

live, love & lead <3